Harsh Criticism From a Doctor | How To Diffuse Any Argument!

čas přidán 24. 01. 2019
Here's a story of something that happened to me in my fourth year of medical school during rotations. This experience although not a fun one, did better me so I thought it would be beneficial to share with you guys!
I am all about empathy and conflict resolution. Once I began to read research on the subject I quickly realized I was already doing many of the steps needed to diffuse emotional situations. I think you may see yourself taking some of these steps without ever being formally educated on verbal judo.
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** The information in this video is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/mental health professional**


  • you impress me with your way of thinking Dr Mike

  • Oh god this is gold! Dr mike please elaborate on how not to dwell on the negative... Its so difficult as a sensitive person to deal with rude and mean people around us. 💜🌼 #beewoop 😊

  • i am so glad you are discussing this topic doc mike.... pee woop😁

  • I hate when "depressed" is using in a meaning "I have bad mood". Because I have a depression and when I tell people about my condition, I hear "Oh, l too was depressed yesterday, when my boss yeled at me". No. You were upset. I sometimes can't get up from my bed. And I had suicidal thoughts. It's espessialy painful to hear from the doctor. They should know about it more then the rest. And they still misusing this word.

  • Dr Mike for president! if more ppl were like this the world would b better

  • Well don’t ya know I suck at judo in real situations so welp

  • Diffuse?

  • *OR you could just shank them up with a scalpel and run..*

  • This is awesome

  • Thank you for this video. I'm one of those people who tends to knock myself around in tests and exams. Currently, I'm going for some work in a company that likes to have a 90% accuracy rate for the job they do (in fact, that's their guarantee). I have been failing their exams with results of 93 and 95.87% results (the pass/fail is 96%!). I've been kicking myself for this because I've felt like an absolute failure (I'm used to decent results but a "fail" with an A+ result really does my head in!). I don't have someone around me to put this into perspective, so this vid popped up at the right time.

  • Thank you doctor. I am currently facing such situation at work at first I thought I am not Gona bow down or be silent and used to give back my opinion strongly. But this dint help it only made matters worst the only way I can make peace with myself is to come to common ground ..to agree and to focus and now now I have prepare myself for better possiblity till then just put on with it.. if god brought pharoah in your life means it's time to get out of slavery and seek freedom.one day I will

  • No bee woop???

  • Thanks, doc mike this helped me a lot since this can also be applied during family discussions, arguments, and debates and now I understand what my parent s feel when I initiate a discussion with them thanks again!

  • Wow, that's narcissistic abuse. You're right they don't act like total assholes all the time. The trick wouldn't work that way. Their pattern involves using intermittent reinforcement with love-bombing and devaluation because that creates the strongest bond. For example, he gave you freedom then denigrated you for making mistakes in front of patients, even shamed you in front of colleagues to make himself feel superior. You gave good tips for dealing with difficult people when you have to. Mental tai chi! Great job choosing not to work with him long-term even though you loved sports medicine and working in NY. No Contact is the ideal way of dealing with people like that because then you can use all the energy that you used to spend just managing the relationship instead for the good fight, for what you actually want to grow in your life.

  • You sound like more of a therapist now. Oof.

  • Actual judo would be a lot more satisfying. Just sayin'...

  • Were you training under the actual Doctor Cox?

  • Anyone else come to the comments half way through to see if anyone mentioned the doggie cutout next to him?? Great videos btw

  • If people where like Mike, in any field, our society would be a better place. Criticism is bad, constructive criticism is good.

  • The same with dental school. It was disappointing and depressing to be treated like that...

  • ❤️❤️❤️

  • I like all the points on focusing on what the doctor does best and with the verbal judo with one 'but': when the doctor trashes you in front of the patient, it's not only humiliating, it also makes the patient question your competence. Add my Russian accent to the situation and the patient looks at me like I have no idea what I am doing... until I barked back at the doctor and she stopped... I guess, we have to try our best to keep the peace, but sometimes certain individuals are just asking for it :D

  • I like all the points on focusing on what the doctor does best and with the verbal judo with one 'but': when the doctor trashes you in front of the patient, it's not only humiliating, it also makes the patient question your competence. Add my Russian accent to the situation and the patient looks at me like I have no idea what I am doing... until I barked back at the doctor and she stopped... I guess, we have to try our best to keep the peace, but sometimes certain individuals are just asking for it :D

  • Aw ur so cute 😂💕 “verbal judo” 5:35

  • I remembered one time I was humiliated by an attending in front of everyone inside ER because I missed sepsis as a differential diagnosis. He was yelling so loud that almost everyone in ER can hear it. During the moment, I felt deeply injured mentally. But now I never forget to survey sepsis in similar situations. I guess this is just the way how medical students and young doctors grow up. Also, I heard stories of how mean the teachers were during the old days. For example, sometimes when they think the charts weren't written good enough to meet their standards, they would through it out the window, then the poor guys who wrote it would have to to pick it up.

  • I just kept looking at the dog pillow on his left

  • He’s thinking of why he got criticised while I’m sitting here thinking about why refrigerator doesn’t have a d in it like fridge

  • Omg this reminds me I’m always so hard on myself... lol.

  • This is just “talk no jutsu”

  • man I wish this video had been out 15 years ago. TLDR: This is absolutely golden advice. We can't control other people but we can control our reactions to them. Its hard but can have great benefits. I wanted to be a marine biologist when I was younger. I took honors biology in middle school and I had the worst teacher. I was sick the day before a quiz, so I did horrible on the quiz. I went up after class to ask her some questions about the quiz. Her response was to call me an idiot and rant on how she couldn't believe I got that question wrong. I took it very personally and was so upset. I avoided every science class I could after that. I wanted nothing to do with science anymore. When I had to take a science class I would do poorly because I just thought I wasn't 'good' at it. I ended up majoring in something I regretted. Now I am going back to school and have just started pharmacy school after taking two years of solid science classes to round out my pre-reqs. I absolutely love science now! But because of taking that one bad experience so personally I missed out on years of my dream job and I am starting late. I blamed that teacher for a long time but ultimately it was my own bad reaction that affected me the longest.

  • huh, this is actually a really good tactic for work situations. i'll be trying this out! :)

  • I’m 16 years old and I had a teacher who would criticize me all the time for not being good enough and I have a really sensitive personality so it hurt me a lot but after watching this video I understand exactly how to deal with it thx a lot doctor mike ☺️👍🏻

  • Why are doctors so mean? Does it make students build a tough skin?

  • I think you had MD. House, sounds exactly like him.

  • Hey Dr.Mike please can you give me your opinion on epigenetics?

  • "Stay Healthy" I've watched a few of your videos, and appreciate them, and your style. I believe, based upon my experiences within the medical field, family, friends, and working, I find the hypocrisy way over the top. For instance, many, if not most, in the field will decry the horribleness of firearms and ask for restrictions because "of the harm guns cause", yet fail to look at the beam within their own eyes. So, what do I mean, and what facts to I have? Sure, let's run some numbers; - As per a respected report by John Hopkins, at least 250K patients will die in hospitals alone every year due to medical mistakes / negligence. Notice, that's hospitals alone, not specialty centers, general offices, pharmacy, etc.. That alone raises the medical profession as the third highest killer - every year. - There are 400M+ firearms in citizens hands with a yearly increase of new firearms of over 10M, in a population of 330M citizens (man women child), - As per CDC, less than 15K deaths are caused by homicide with a firearm, including all U.S. Territories. This equates to less than 1/2 of a single percent of deaths every year. - Further, of the three studies ever performed, as well as other estimates, 75% of those deaths are caused by people who were felons before pulling the trigger (too young to be in possession of a pistol - federal laws stipulates 21, felon in possession of a firearm - usually gang member, use in commission of a crime, "gun free zone", etc.). In all, 11,250 deaths occur by people who already broke the law BEFORE killing someone with a firearm - therefore they, obviously, will NOT follow ANY law restricting firearms. So, that leaves less than 3,750 people who are killed every year by homicide with a firearm. But wait! Over 1K of those are JUSTIFIED - in defense of rape, knife attack, home invasion, police shooting, felony theft, etc.. Given the most number of deaths AGAINST non felon, unjustified shooting, that leaves 2,750 people who die every year by homicide with a firearm of the 2.5M yearly deaths. - Tell us, medical professionals, are there any rare conditions or diseases that kill about that many people every year that one would be REASONABLE expected not to catch? Oh, and by the way, as per the CDC, more people die every year due to fist and feet (over 10K), then the 2,750. Or even those that fall off ladders. So, after all that, why is it that the medical community always talk about "gun crime", when their own actions affect many more people. Could it be intentional misdirection, or just ignorance? Sources available upon request.

  • As crude as the context is, "prescription for knowledge" sounds like a really good line _out_ of context.

  • Where is the best place to ask medical questions we all have??

  • Who wrote these captions? xD "Points to his nice head' xD xD

  • I worked as an Executive Assistant to a family medical doctor once and she consistently tried to break me down every chance she got in front of anyone who was around and also privately. What I learned was her agnst towards me had less to do with me and more to do with her. I was there to do my job and I did it well and if she wanted to conduct herself in an unprofessional manner then it was to her detriment not mine. Eventually her practice caved but not before I got out of there first. Karma is a real thing but so is believing in yourself and having positive self talk is crucial to that. Not going to lie...your pillow freaks me out a little dude haha. Still love your channel though.

  • Your so nice. I prefer to crush idiots at work. I want them to think twice before treating others badley. Plus nothing tastes as good as sweet revenge. But clearly I'm not as good of a person. Which I'm fine with.

  • In general I don't like to escalate a situation, so I prefer to take a step back and do what you say. The problem is that the other may receive that as a weakness and this encourages their bad behavior. Sometimes you have to set your boundaries from the start.

  • Lol the captions are hilarious! *points to his very nice head* (3:32)

  • I may not be a medical student or a nurse. This video is probably the best one in how we all deal with negative emotions or bullies. This is an absolutely important message. Thank you, Dr. Mike 💖🙌

  • When I was like 19-20 I put up with stuff like that at jobs but now I don't care if you're the manager, the owner, the CEO whatever I'm calling out any disrespect idgaf anymore because our work culture in the US is so abusive and i'm not being a victim.

  • I wish I could be as optimistic as you Dr.Mike

  • I'm a total failure. I'm living proof.

  • Oh I hate it when attendings make me present a case in front of the patient (and sometimes their families). I find it rude and stressful to the patient, ineffective and just plain URGH. I hate it even more when attendings willfully humiliate me in front of patients for not knowing something. That's just not helpful; my relationship to patients is one of my strengths, don't take that away.

  • I like the way you think👌

  • This is the best piece of advice I've heard by far when it comes to dealing with criticism