Harsh Criticism From a Doctor | How To Diffuse Any Argument!

čas přidán 24. 01. 2019
Here's a story of something that happened to me in my fourth year of medical school during rotations. This experience although not a fun one, did better me so I thought it would be beneficial to share with you guys!
I am all about empathy and conflict resolution. Once I began to read research on the subject I quickly realized I was already doing many of the steps needed to diffuse emotional situations. I think you may see yourself taking some of these steps without ever being formally educated on verbal judo.
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** The information in this video is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional professional**


  • Spoiler alert fictioncharacters.fandom.com/wiki/Harper_Finkle In season one's "Credit Check", fashion designer Ms. Angela (Julia Duffy) refers to her as "dressed like a giant preschooler", to which Harper took as a compliment (due to the fact that she had "rewired her brain" to turn insults into compliments).

  • You are really on point about bouncing back. When I was in my second year (I think) at university I failed an exam and went to my teacher for feed forward, so that I could train until my re-exam. Asking what I could train on specifically, he just told me to drop out and find something else to study. I got really angry, and sad of course, but ended up taking the relevant course over again and passed the exam, almost out of spite against him. A man-spirited reaction perhaps, but hey, it helped me through.

  • My last 8 week rotation for my Masters in Speech Language Pathology was at an inpatient rehab and I was really excited about it. However, my supervisor was horrible and belittled me like that. I worked so hard those 8 weeks and really enjoyed working with the patients but she did nothing but complain about me. She gave me an F for my grade when my previous clinic supervisors had given me A's. My program's clinic director called the chick to see why she had graded me so harshly she didn't have answer but agreed to change it to a C.

  • More on this topic pls

  • Bro, exactly d same thing happened to me yesterday....d doctor incharge asked for my logbook....i had it completed....but still he was like.....uh hv done this wrong and that wrong and that too in a yelling way.....and that thing demotivated me profoundly..... But my love for treating patients brought me back on track....and ur vdos r always a backup ♥️

  • Doctor Mike binge 2019 :-)

  • Why are you not a psychologist...? Lol You have a beautiful mind and wonderful out look on life. It’s refreshing thank you! 😬

  • Thank you Dr. Mike for making this video. I've really been struggling in my new profession as a teacher for similar reasons you outlined here, and I've been wondering if after all the years of sacrifice and hardwork it's taken me to get here that maybe I made a mistake and I should change professions again. Verbal Judo! Hi-ya!!!

  • What do you know, there are dicky professors all over the world.

  • What a strong and positive message!! I had a similar experience, as a post graduate student at University, with my thesis supervisor. I remember myself crying bitter tears, after she had made me look like a fool during my final thesis presentation. For years I blamed mostly myself, not her, for allowing her to intimidate me. In the end, this experience only made me wiser and stronger! Thanks for another great video, Dr Mike!!

  • Dr. Mike is so good for my mental health. Whenever i am feeling down i watch one of his videos and i feel better. I pray for his happiness, such a good person.

  • If you ever want to leave family medicine, you'd make a wonderful therapist Dr. Mike!

    • @Doctor Mike BTW, totally off the subject, but you said in another video you wanted to go to Santorini, I encourage you to go ASAP! It was one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

    • That’s a powerful compliment, thank you!

  • Oh my God this is exactly what he used when Adam reacted to his Adam ruins everything video

  • You said asshole!

  • Wonder if anyone has ever given that sports med doc a script for 'empathy, caring, compassion. Brand name: a heart'.

  • This was so me on my very first weeks, (maybe months) with my job. And as an autistic person on top of that, that made things a bit more challenging. But thankfully I work with my mother most of the time at this job so that’d ease up things a bit. Anyways, great advice Dr. Mike, sorry I’m late to this, just keep doing what you do, and thank you for what you do.

  • This belittling and mocking behaviour is so common in the senior doctors..even if a student makes a mistake you can correct them in a polite way rather than harshly scolding and embarrassing them in front of the patients..this also reduces the patient's trust in you being mocked in front of them for not knowing enough and also has a bad impact on your own self-confidence!

  • I've heard that nurses eat their young. Sounds like that can be true for doctors as well. Yikes!

  • god you're such a good human being urg

  • When I was training as a nurse in the uk, I had a mentor who was the same. So I took her to one side and basically told her where to get off. I don't have the kind of personality to tolerate what I consider unprofessional behaviour. The ward sister shook my hand for standing up for myself at the end of my placement...my mentor was a flat out bully who needed putting in her place so she didn't do it to other students.

  • This is actually soooooo helpful... Why didn't I see this before Spent whole day sulking over getting yelled at by a teacher

  • I can't even say "peewoop" without my voice cracking 😂😓

  • Okay your first criticism is just everyday life. Anything after that, it just be nice/polite and realistic with your expectations.

  • That is so incredibly unprofessional of that doctor. Forget how how lousy of a teacher that makes him, that makes him a terrible doctor to his patients. I had 1 doctor like that who treated HIS NURSES, random people on the phone, even HIS PATIENT. Sorry but this guy was a total asshole. It doesn’t matter what knowledge or skill someone has if they can’t do it with civility and respect because patients won’t trust them or come back and students don’t learn- because that Dr DOESN’T TEACH. My husband chewed out the guy and we walked out- as a patient I’m not a tool for a bully doctor with which to bludgeon others. It makes for an unnecessarily hostile and stressful environment, and I’m going to the Dr to lessen my stressors, not increase them. People who need to abuse their authority in any way, but especially petty wats like that, are disgusting and pathetically insecure. Sigh. One day they might actually make a pill that makes a guy’s dick bigger, but until then we will have to call out these bullies whenever we can. Its extremely satisfying to do so. :)

  • I'm a new subscriber, what's Doctor Mike's specialty?

    • @Doctor Mike Good choice. I notice that you're as active as possible to your subscribers, not every youtuber is like that. I don't regret subscribing.

    • Family Medicine!

  • Old school Baby Boomer I or II vs Millennial? Don't take everything to heart or you won't survive it.

  • I work in law enforcement and there is tons of harsh criticisms that can burn you out as well. Definitely didnt know doctors had a problems with suicide themselves.

  • Although it might sound weird, but I feel that that doctor actually cares about the student, but sometimes, people just refuse to express it gently.

  • Dr Mike is so smart but so innocent and it’s adorable

  • Doc Mike, I’ve avenged you. The Evil Exercise Doc has been extinguished.

  • Please also hand him a note of your social media pages. 😂 nah just kiddin'. 💙 Love you Dr. Mike!

  • Sometimes you got to be able to smell the difference from a daffodils and a group of assholes. I know a jerk, when I see or hear something like that. I can get what you are saying Mike, but hell. Learn what you need from it and leave never come back. LOL I hope this, so call man of medicine, see how successful you are. But he be the narcissistic human he is, will take credit from the fact you are where you are because of him.

  • I actually had an experience with a burnt out doctor as a patient. I only went to his office once, he was very short with me and quickly dismissed me from his practice saying he doesn't treat sarcoidosis, lung doctors do. (He was a rheumatologist.) Now my sarcoidosis is is relatively unique. My lungs are not affected. In fact, the biggest issue for me is my spleen, that is massively enlarged and filtering out my blood cells making me pancytopenic. I had previously been under the care of a great rheumy who was doing his best to manage my illness. And more important, he was in the only specialty that prescribes low dose methotrexate for autoimmune diseases. After that frustrating appointment, I had my friend who had driven me had to drive me the 45 minute drive back home (we live rural.) I did research on him on the way home and found an article from another doctor labeling him the most obnoxious doctor and going on to highlight quotes from a blog where he ridicules patients and talks about how he charges the highest possible billing options for those that he views are more difficult patients. In the end, I'm glad to not be his patient, he is definitely burnt out, but I also do not have a doctor that can manage my disease. I have my family doctor, who is great, but can't prescribe the medications to manage my illness, and my hem/onc, who is ALSO great, but isnt willing to prescribe the methotrexate because she doesnt work with low dose, she works with high dose. So I'm in a state of limbo. I get the burn out rates in rheumatology, you are treating patients who are going to be sick for the rest of their lives, but ultimately, these are patients going to you because they obviously can't help themselves. I'm burnt out from my own job, but lives dont hang on the balance when I decide not to give my all. It's kinda gross that another doctor, knowing that burnout is high in the medical field could jumpstart someone else's path to being burnt out. Wow I wrote a book... If you got through that, you are an ABSOLUTE champ!!

  • i knw that stretch marks can't be removed (obviously) but are there ways to prevent them? which there probably is seeing that models who get pregnant never seem to get marks post pregnancy.

  • I've learned that when someone treats you harshly it usually comes from feelings of insecurity or inadequacy that they have experienced and they are trying to dump it onto you to make themselves feel better.

  • I dunno how they do it in america but student or not, in britain if a doctor did that to me (the last part) i would 100% of replied with a smart remark or a confrontation, i dont care who you are, adults are adults, anyone can lose my respect regardless of how high they are on the payroll

  • you impress me with your way of thinking Dr Mike

  • Oh god this is gold! Dr mike please elaborate on how not to dwell on the negative... Its so difficult as a sensitive person to deal with rude and mean people around us. 💜🌼 #beewoop 😊

    • Yayy a heart reaction from dr mike 😊 sunshine! ☀️

  • i am so glad you are discussing this topic doc mike.... pee woop😁

  • I hate when "depressed" is using in a meaning "I have bad mood". Because I have a depression and when I tell people about my condition, I hear "Oh, l too was depressed yesterday, when my boss yeled at me". No. You were upset. I sometimes can't get up from my bed. And I had suicidal thoughts. It's espessialy painful to hear from the doctor. They should know about it more then the rest. And they still misusing this word.

  • Dr Mike for president! if more ppl were like this the world would b better

  • Well don’t ya know I suck at judo in real situations so welp

  • Diffuse?

  • *OR you could just shank them up with a scalpel and run..*

  • This is awesome

  • Thank you for this video. I'm one of those people who tends to knock myself around in tests and exams. Currently, I'm going for some work in a company that likes to have a 90% accuracy rate for the job they do (in fact, that's their guarantee). I have been failing their exams with results of 93 and 95.87% results (the pass/fail is 96%!). I've been kicking myself for this because I've felt like an absolute failure (I'm used to decent results but a "fail" with an A+ result really does my head in!). I don't have someone around me to put this into perspective, so this vid popped up at the right time.

  • Thank you doctor. I am currently facing such situation at work at first I thought I am not Gona bow down or be silent and used to give back my opinion strongly. But this dint help it only made matters worst the only way I can make peace with myself is to come to common ground ..to agree and to focus and now now I have prepare myself for better possiblity till then just put on with it.. if god brought pharoah in your life means it's time to get out of slavery and seek freedom.one day I will

  • No bee woop???

  • Thanks, doc mike this helped me a lot since this can also be applied during family discussions, arguments, and debates and now I understand what my parent s feel when I initiate a discussion with them thanks again!

  • Wow, that's narcissistic abuse. You're right they don't act like total assholes all the time. The trick wouldn't work that way. Their pattern involves using intermittent reinforcement with love-bombing and devaluation because that creates the strongest bond. For example, he gave you freedom then denigrated you for making mistakes in front of patients, even shamed you in front of colleagues to make himself feel superior. You gave good tips for dealing with difficult people when you have to. Mental tai chi! Great job choosing not to work with him long-term even though you loved sports medicine and working in NY. No Contact is the ideal way of dealing with people like that because then you can use all the energy that you used to spend just managing the relationship instead for the good fight, for what you actually want to grow in your life.

  • You sound like more of a therapist now. Oof.

  • Actual judo would be a lot more satisfying. Just sayin'...

  • Were you training under the actual Doctor Cox?

  • Anyone else come to the comments half way through to see if anyone mentioned the doggie cutout next to him?? Great videos btw

  • If people where like Mike, in any field, our society would be a better place. Criticism is bad, constructive criticism is good.

  • The same with dental school. It was disappointing and depressing to be treated like that...

  • ❤️❤️❤️

  • I like all the points on focusing on what the doctor does best and with the verbal judo with one 'but': when the doctor trashes you in front of the patient, it's not only humiliating, it also makes the patient question your competence. Add my Russian accent to the situation and the patient looks at me like I have no idea what I am doing... until I barked back at the doctor and she stopped... I guess, we have to try our best to keep the peace, but sometimes certain individuals are just asking for it :D

  • Aw ur so cute 😂💕 “verbal judo” 5:35

  • I remembered one time I was humiliated by an attending in front of everyone inside ER because I missed sepsis as a differential diagnosis. He was yelling so loud that almost everyone in ER can hear it. During the moment, I felt deeply injured mentally. But now I never forget to survey sepsis in similar situations. I guess this is just the way how medical students and young doctors grow up. Also, I heard stories of how mean the teachers were during the old days. For example, sometimes when they think the charts weren't written good enough to meet their standards, they would through it out the window, then the poor guys who wrote it would have to to pick it up.