Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude | Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague

čas přidán 5. 01. 2016
According to Barbara Sher we have to change our common understanding of why we so often fail to bring our dreams into reality - blaming bad attitude, negative thinking or lack of effort. Heartfelt, funny and surprising stories told by a lady who's been helping other people's dreams for many decades.

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Podle Barbary Sher musíme přehodnotit běžný názor, že za neuskutečněné sny může špatný přístup, negativní myšlení nebo nedostatek píle. Překvapující, vtipné a srdečné vyprávění dámy, která již několik desetiletí pomáhá lidem na cestě k realizaci jejich snů.

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Barbaře přezdívají „kmotra životního koučování“. Je autorkou šesti bestsellerů, vede semináře po celém světě, školí v největších firmách a přednáší na univerzitách. Ve svých knihách a lekcích propojuje velké množství praktických zkušeností s osobitým humorem. Pokud jste někdy bojovali s neschopností vybrat si jen jeden cíl a na něj se zaměřit nebo máte pocit, že pro uskutečnění svých snů nemáte dost pevnou vůli, pak Vás Barbara snadno utěší. Stejně jako ty, kteří se bojí, že některé věci už v životě prošvihli.

Barbara má veliký rozhled po světě (žila mimo jiné v Turecku, Francii i Německu) a asi nejhezčí na jejích lekcích je, že se co chvíli neubráníte smíchu nad tím, jak jsou některé věci prosté.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Komentáře

  • Everything interesting in life comes from our connections to others... we are not meant to be alone, and we thrive in groups... great talk!

    • @SupremeSelf The Bibble never told you to be Texas longer ranger

    • I’m always helping but when I need help get the sound of silence

    • Your Soooooooo Beautiful Dania!!!!!!!

    • everything of any real value comes from within actually

    • @Melanie Meyer Exactly, some people prefer solitude. People just cannot understand.

  • I cried so much after this. Ask and you shall be given. I always have difficulty asking for help and I always fear that I won’t get help. Even when I do get help, I still feel difficult receiving it. It’s time to shift out of that limiting belief

    • I just heard it and I cried. wow just wow.

    • Sometimes i wonder if helping others was supposed to be for independent people, to put other people before ourself. If you are busy thinking about everyone else all the time, you won’t be thinking and doing things for yourself. Which, eventually you start to hold resentment and you aren’t worth helping just because you don’t ask for it. Or , guilt for wanting to look after yourself and making yourself happy especially if it conflicts with other people who depend on you.

    • Same with me, most time when i really need help and tried to ask for, the response i got was like i'm not worth being help, especially from the ones i helped and cared most

    • @Just Doing Things Thank you for asking.. My dream is to help people for a living and to find my people. Friends who will accept and love me for who I am.

    • @Mayra Z what is you want? Dream? Obstacle?

  • This is what I try telling people, when some people say I’m too nice. This is the reason we need to be kind to one another. You literally have no idea what another person has to bring to the table.

    • @Sara Khaldi so then that would make you selfless for choosing to be nice

    • I also had trouble with myself because someone mistakenly point out that Im way too friendly and nice that I might be just putting a show. I definitely agree with you!

    • @Gregory House My perception of his comment was, if you’re “nice” life will destroy nice people. Life has done everything possible to crush me, I’m still kind to people. I feel being nice and kind are strengths for all of the things that were made to crush people like me.

    • @Phoenix Point

  • I wasn’t sure whether I should “waste” my time on a 21 minute video which will probably say the same thing as all the other success oriented videos, but my God! this is an absolutely wonderful video filled with such precious stories and emotions. It really inspired me and one comment also said that this would make for a great movie, and I agree so much! Thank you Barbara Sher! Thank you❤️✨

    • The first rule of Dream club is you always talk about Dream club

    • @SoloSailor sv I didn't find any show called like that.

    • @Chava MartínezThe show is called Stienfield,

    • Agree!!

  • Just one thing she missed out: the ability to believe your luck or the ability to receive the gift. I've been in a position to offer someone a shortcut to their dream, set up appointments and so on and the would-be recipient has rejected my offer, maybe because they couldn't believe it could be so easy to achieve their wish. And I realise I've done exactly the same! The truth is some people love to give others a leg up in life. It's happened to them and they want to pay it forward. Let them!

    • @Goiriath Thanks!

    • This was obviously a really short video, and summary of her work. A really big part of her books is dealing with *Resistance*. The part of you that says that you can't get what you want, and resists opportunities to get what you think you want. She really goes into why, and how to address it. She suggests that you pick a goal even if you aren't sure about it, start going for it, just to smoke out your *resistance*, which will pop up, and then you can start figuring out how to dismantle the *resistance*.

    • Sometimes i think people either don’t think they are worth it. Or so used to helping others that we would feel like a failure by accepting help. they might not even be fully sure of what they want and scared to commit to the help. Or yeah that this seems too easy, there must be a catch or something.

    • Maybe because they're afraid that there is a catch or it's a scam or that the person expect something in exchange without telling you. I know I would doubt someone's intentions in this world.

    • @sunnylilacs Wonderful story of the way this happened for you and then made it happen for someone else! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

  • this is literally the best ted talk ive ever seen. it is so true that we as human beings are social creatures and isolation is extremely unhealthy and makes us wither away. this woman is so intelligent i love her

    • @Hannah because most of them are always in a state of fear. Socializing brings stability to most people.

    • @M yes… exactly how I feel

    • @Sunidhi Anand same. Just be who you are and do what is natural for you. It’s like telling an extrovert “stay home and read a book, no more social gatherings.” That would be cruel and unnatural for them. Everyone should just do what makes them happy or feel good/ normal.

    • It gave me hope

    • Wither away. Somebody said that to me. "Don't just stay home and wither away". I was a little hurt that they were that brute probably because they struck a chord. But it's true.

  • I just realized that Barbara was still able to help people because of this talk. Thank you Barbara.

    • Your Soooooooo Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!

    • That's true immortality, and the only form of immortality worth pursuing. Not because you'll be talked about for years to come, but because you changed someone's life for the better.

    • Beautiful thought, and true🤍 She ignited something very powerful.

  • 12:42 Whats your wish? What’s your obstacle? We are problem solving humans, people want to help 15:05 Secret to success; isolation is a dream killer. You can’t fake feelings 20:03 We depend on each other’s dreams coming true. Every single time you make someone else’s dream come true it echos Figure out what you want, let people help you, go after your dreams, figure out your dreams and obstacles

    • "You can't fake feeling" You can. Saying the opposite is quite dangerous, the concept of loving/accepting yourself is important.

    • Thank you!

    • Thank you x

    • Summed up beautifully. Thank you!

  • She's hilarious. I love her dry humour. The audience should have laughed alot more 😆.

    • should have could have

    • Hi Kerry how are you doing

  • “Even if people don’t like you, they’ll solve yiur problem” Love it!!

  • Isolation is helpful for discovering your dream. People are helpful for making it happen

    • Agreed. Especially if you are an artist or musician. Being in solitude is paramount for tapping into your art form.

    • @Arjun Dev yay, its the best

    • @Arjun Dev the internet is always on . There are unlimited resources from all over the world in Facebook groups , instagram , forums , Reddit , etc

    • @Goochisz Magoochisz what are you talking about?

  • Having met her, I think she is one of the most exquisite humans around. After a talk, she stayed on stage until the last person had a chance to speak with her. She is brilliant. Her books are seminal.

    • Yes, I really liked her presentation, too!!

  • On the other hand, I find purposefully isolating myself FROM people who actively try to kill my dreams a very productive activity for maintaining my dreams.

    • @CutZy McCall Thank you for sharing your story. I have a feeling I am embarking on a similar journey, but it's a tough start. Your story feels like a message to trust and move forward. I wish you lots of happiness and light

    • ABSOLUTELY

    • @CutZy McCall thx for sharing! ..Like this Ted talk, reading your quick story/comment was so very real & delightful to read 🙏🏾✨☺️ (also, so happy for you 🥰🎨)

    • I was thinking the same thing. A few years ago I found myself forced to be completely alone. I do have lots of friends all over the world. But many of my best friends moved away from my city to care for parents or for new jobs, leaving me basically friendless except for a large group of friends online and on the phone. (My husband and soul mate of 25 years had died a few years earlier, which had left me deeply in grief for quite a while). At first, I felt bitterly lonely. Then I started to write and make art and do business (I work from home) like never before. I began meditating every day, work out regularly, and stopped going out to eat a lot like I used to with friends. Consequently, I've lost a lot of unwanted weight, turned out thousands of works of art, am having a blast writing two novels and reams of poetry, and like myself more than I ever have in my life. Being alone - even, you might say, isolated - has been a true blessing. I am a very social person. I never thought this would happen to me, but I like it! I feel like finally - I am getting to know myself.

    • Yeah- I might try this too. Been doing art and music in small bits with others and could do so much more on my own without their “ help”

  • I already know a group that could help me with my obstacle. What's stopping me is my fear of being judged and also I'm shy, but after hearing Barbara's stories, I know that talking to them will help me do what I want and be friends with new people. Thank you for this

    • Let us know how you get on

    • Jhas myne, I'm quite like you (shy, nervous)and I'm a professional musician on stage a lot! Nerve-wracking for sure. I'd like to give you a small suggestion: Find a quiet space, close your eyes and visualize talking to your group about your dream. Visualize in detail. People's faces, their eyes, hair, body. Put yourself there talking to them. Relax with it. Should only take a few minutes. You'll be 90% there in discussing your dream. I wish you luck!

    • I agree with you--the stories from Barbara are awesome. Don't doubt your convictions! I once learned these words "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

  • Rest in peace Barbara, thank you for sharing your compassionate insights with the world.

  • Since quitting my music degree almost two years ago, I have been in I guess voluntary isolation. I see people moving on, building their lives, getting married... and here I am in this same room. People need people. And I think it's high time that I go and get my people.

    • I understand but I have heard complete sympathies and lyrics that have poured our inside me that I now don’t try to record because those ideas are in the alpha state. Out of my emptiness of what I planned. I allow what I have now to continue to learn as new experiences excite the same ones boring. Write or research your talents switch gears. Best to you and the solo artist you are now. Then I adore the twenty one pilots last concert because it was online and free just so where we are going. Be ageless and create 🤓✍🏼😎😷💪

    • @Flower thank you i am going to start networking been doing better being around more people i wish you the best of success stay positive

    • Hello so how are you doing , since you stop isolating your self , sending you love and positivity

    • Sending you luck and love 🌷

    • Update time...it's been a wild past couple of years, what's happening in your life? I'll tell you about mine, I dropped out of school and am volunteering at a fish farm in Hawaii, this talk has given me the confidence to keep following my own path even though I don't know where it will take me.

  • She’s gone? This woman is speaking about exactly what I’ve learned through multiple struggles in my life. I was taught not to ask for help but I wasn’t taught how to give help so it took multiple experiences where I was the receiver (without asking for anything as others watched me try to do everything on my own), until I realized I absolutely had a lot to give whether I had money or not. When I look at my experiences filled with soo many amazing strangers over a period of a few decades, I love the way the world looks to me. It may not be exactly as I see it but it looks like a place where we all find the most happiness through our interaction learning from one another whether it is a joyful or painful experience. We really all do need each other to reach our optimal existence while we are here together. Too many people are left alone or choose to be alone and don’t get to see things that would allow them to grow and change. This has been the most amazing thing. To watch myself change.

    • Covid ruined my connections. So alone for 2 yrs

  • I'm in Australia and that's the most fantastic story I've ever heard on TED, And I've listened to some rippers. You're beautiful, you brought me to tears. I haven't stepped outside my front door in three months.

  • She did it , now , on her tombstone, She help millions, Given hope to millions, Around the world . Bless you ❤️❤️

    • Back about 2005 or 06, I had a course with her via PHONE !! at the end, I asked a question, told her my dilemma & she took a good amount of time to work with me. I loved her perspectives, however I didn’t like her TELLING me what I HAD to do… 🥴, so it didn’t work for me. I can see where many could benefit though. She’s great to listen to & very practical.

    • @Francisco Santos Someone posted in the comments that she died in May of 2020.

    • Did she die?

  • I'm embarrassed I didn't knew who she was till now And that she passed So inspiring 85 years on this planet She made her mark

  • I wish there was a talk show host that had this mindset, imagine that - getting a big crowd together and just solving audience members obstacles on the spot. That'd be so entertaining and inspirational to watch.

    • I agree, and thought that same thing! There totally SHOULD be a talk show like that.

    • @Aoife McDermott I'm intrested. Please leave the link to the discord below. There are at least a hand full of people who have already started groups in FB and some that need help with setting up a whatsup app group. Thx

  • The first time I heard this talk I never forgot it. I didn’t quite get it though. It’s now, a few years later and post-covid trauma that I’m realizing that what she is saying is absolute gold. We are everything to each other - good and bad! We are everything!

  • This lady is so lovely , and hugely inspiring , yet brings with her demeanour a brilliance yet delivered in such a way , you feel like she is familiar , ' ordinary ' in a good way , yet someone whom has been on a journey too . Isolation is indeed a killer .. Covid Pandemic has proved this for so many of us , with health restrictions impounding , usual social routines reduced or removed . Thank you Barbara Sher - the gift of your down to earth wisdom and insight is wonderful , I feel I am in the room with you ..

  • Heard this one long ago and it’s great to rehear. My life has kinda petered out because I let go of remembering that I have a positive effect on people’s lives when I get excited to help. Touch someone positively and you touch your own life in the same way.

  • Oh my god, this is literally the BEST TedTalk I have ever listened to! Her words are not only wise but incredibly entertaining to hear. I’m fed up with all the “inspirational” quotes and thinking positively. This woman is giving out real, practical advice! Thank you, mam.

  • What an incredible inspiration this presentation is! Wishes, obstacles, and letting people help us... what a beautiful practice! ❤️

  • The stories this lady has told have change my world. The ripple effect is a beautiful thing ❤️

    • She's found true immortality through her compassion. May she rest in eternal peace.

  • Great talk! I wonder how this works for people with personality disorders or severe trust issues? When you feel unsafe around people, finding a group like that seems impossible.

    • @nauxsi thank you for your kind words. I will try that

    • @Amanda M You have forgive yourself. I find affirmations like 'I didn't handle that situation well, next time I will do it differently' then focus on future.

    • Yep agreed. I have issues around opening up to people. I have done therapy but found they did not understand where I was coming from. I ended up lying to them in the end. Hard to open up after a lifetime of being bullied. I'm very wary of others and now keep people at a polite distance.

  • This was the change of perspective that we needed. Positive thinking is great and it has worked for me before but... you can’t fake feelings, like Barb says.

  • My favorite quote from her is: Don´t let it stop you if going after your dream may take a long time to get there - the time will pass anyway :-)

    • Powerful

    • null null...That was a really good, and inspiring write up - thanks...Hope some other people out there will read it, and be inspired by it.

    • she's not one for cheesy one liners like that. my favorite thing she said is the practical advice she's gifted us

    • As far as dreams taking a long time... I had a dream, once. Wanted to be an animator. The coolest studio ever was a whole state away. Well, I wanted this-really wanted it, having visited during a family vacation and checked the place out. And by about 7 years later, it seemed like daily life was a rut with a job I was too complacent in to ever quit. So I got myself fired, and and a friend where the studio was emailed to say she and her boyfriend were looking for a roommate. Made the move in 3 hours, got into town, and discovered the studio was completely different and less inviting- in fact, it was under new ownership. People sometimes make a hasty move to where they want to be, and don't consider that it's not static and might not be what they expected when they get there. Well, that wasn't enough to kill the enthusiasm! I made a bunch of short animations after living with several different people, and a few years later a former roommate asked if I would be interested in working at his studio as an editor. Had the interview, got the job, and boom: by some stroke of fate or luck, the former owner of the animation studio I had wanted to work at was teaching a class that was very expensive, and the editing job made just enough to pay for it. The class was great- so thrilling in fact, that I completely exhausted all the childhood excitement for animation in those 14 weeks. But during the class, the teacher noticed I was making my own clay for the assignments and a fellow student offered to buy the first pack I ever made anyone else. Our efforts ended up being shown at the Portland Art Museum and the school, with the logo "Make Film", was the very same building I used to walk by, thinking "I wish I could afford to study there". Fast forward a few more years, and even though I never animated again, I now make clay for other animators so that they can feel the same wonder and bright-eyed curiosity that I felt in the animation class and childhood. It took a long time but I had a dream, chased it, caught it, and now I help other animators follow theirs. Your calling in life doesn't have to be just for you, it can be for other people. And in some ways, that has been more rewarding than if I had just been an animator at that studio. The teacher is gone now, but in the last months of his life he requested some clay samples, which he was excited about when he got them, and now they are being used in a documentary about his life. Once you have fulfilled your wildest dreams, don't forget to come up with more- there's no limit to what we can accomplish if we don't give up on it and work hard until it's ours! As for the next dream... Well, I always wanted to be a singer. Started on that 20 years ago, and sing in front of strangers several times a week. Not going to stop until that dream is seen through :-)

    • So simple and yet so profound.

  • I always go around telling people online about the stuff I'm bad at, and somehow I've managed to pick out a lot of bored smart people willing to help with my homework. I had no idea this was part of such a bigger thing!!

  • This has completely changed my perspective. Great to hear dreams coming true!

  • She is passed… but I just met her…and I am grateful. she gave us this video ❤️ and it is wonderful

  • This talk made my day. And I feel like it’s going to change the course of my life. Thanks Barbara 🙏

  • This should be adapted into a movie. It would be so heartwarming.

    • I agree 100%

    • @Carol Joy Can you please list some of her books for me, I would like to read them. Thanks

    • Fully in favor of this

    • I'll Direct it. Who wants to help produce it?

    • @A. C. R. or people just had MORE time this quarantine period

  • This popped up on my sie feed - so excited to see her! I saw her years ago in San Francisco, probably during that time she was traveling around doing these success talks. I never forgot what she said - she said if you want to be a writer/poet, you don't have to quit your day job - you can do it in your free time - create a writing corner in your home and be a writer. It freed me up to branch out and do creative things in my free time - and writing has been one of my main interests and I'm still at it!

  • Love this! It’s so true. I worked in isolation for years before the pandemic and finally got a job in the city only to wind up back at home in isolation with my kids 5 months later. Building an in person group already and absolutely sharing this idea with them. Thank you Barbara!!!

  • I think this is one is my favorite TedTalk I almost wanted to cry for these strangers she describes in her examples. Great woman, great delivery, beautiful message

  • Thank you Barbara Sher!! You blessed the universe with ur knowledge & wisdom 🙏❤🤗

  • Practice this without a group, in everyday life. Imagine, when meeting new people you ask, what is your dream and whats stopping you from attaining it? Basically asking, what can I help you with? But instead almost everyone asks, What do you do for a living? Which I feel is just another way of saying, how can you help me?

    • @Taj Lane It's a bit off this topic, but a great conversations starter that could lead into this is, "If you could have dinner with anyone from history, dead or alive, who would it be?". Or any three people. Then ask why, and you may see some of their dreams. I used to ask about anyone, but now use from history, because most choose family members, which is fine but doesn't help me understand as much.

    • Great idea! Even if you can’t do it immidiatlet, you take phone ant and maybe later something will come you connect it

    • @Taj Lane Whaaat??? Appointment? Get my fear rolling? What fear, about what??? So you don't want to distract me? Then what are you going on about?

    • @Cheryl Anderson do you need the quiet to prepare yourself for the appointment? Like to get your fear rolling? Don't want to distract you from that

    • YES! And people don't realize that asking it that way is actually very ableist. I'm disabled, haven't been able to work professionally for 5 years, I hope to get back to it soon but it's a difficult subject for me to talk about and there is no way I can answer that question without divulging information that I'm not comfortable giving out to just anyone. I wish people would remember that disabled people have value too, our value is not determined by capitalist productivity

  • Every time I watch this, It helps me feel better - about myself, about you, and about the strangers on the street. Bright Blessings to each of you!

  • Great lessons learnt.."Never laugh at anybody's dream..."

  • 2:18 But here's what I want to tell you _We depend on each other's dreams coming true._ That ma'am, is a reminder that's absolutely necessary to me right now. Thank you so much! 2:39 _Every time you make someone's dream come true, it echoes._

  • I absolutely love this lady. She's like my grandma with lots & lots of stories

  • So: name your dream, then name the obstacle and let people know about both. I like this woman. She's really on to something.

    • If people know about your dream, they may help you or they may block it too.

    • @Chadi Al Awar According neuroscientists, poverty and lack of money is due to the poor functioning of frontal lobe, the CEO of our brain.

    • Create an community of independent houses in Heidelberg Obstacle 4 million credit

    • @Fussel i actually still here at lebanon, if there's any way to get out of here i'll be glad to know..

    • @Chadi Al Awar where are you now? I’d tell you to come to France, but it’s quite difficult these days…

  • Wow, what a wonderfully unexpected talk!!! I love that it was filled with a woman telling wildly interesting and inspiring stories of people getting what they want! Strange, specific things… this wasn’t a woman standing up there rattling off research on the positive benefits of reaching out for help. It was a delightful excursion into the lives of some “odd bedfellows” who, by telling each other the truth of what they wanted, actually got what they wanted!!!! Hooray!!! Love this so much!!!!

  • And she will keep impacting lives even after her passing . God bless her soul 🤍 This is the best ted talk ever.

  • The more I get to know people, the more I feel the need to isolate.

  • I actually find that I have a lot more ideas when I’m alone, isolated from people. More time to think, more time to create.

    • Some time alone can be beneficial for your mind and soul. But when it gets too excessive that's when it can become dangerous...Speaking from experience here...

    • @bunsenn do you fear the wrong crowd would distract you from your dreams? And also solitude is good but too much of it will affect you later down in life. Let’s put it this way, I went through quarantine with absolutely nooo friends and when I left it I was feeling the heat of it. All my life I screamed I like my own space, I like being alone until I didn’t want to anymore for the same reasons you mentioned and I had no one during the period I wanted them. I went through a phase of desperation looking for friends because it wasn’t pretty. So I started rekindling and talking to a couple people and let me tell you something it helps. Solitude is ana amazing way to realign yourself with yourself, mind and dreams and creativity. But you need a balance a balance.

    • This is not about solving your everyday tasks, like a math homework. This is about solving life problems which you feel are too big for you, which you cant tackle.

    • @Diego Torres how do you connect to the right people tho?

    • Well that's thinking wich is the first step right, the idea, very important. But what have to be done next is action, and that can start again by yourseft, but it will certainly need more people involved as you move forward

  • It is genuinely refreshing to finally see someone (especially an American) suggest the exact opposite of “self help”. Awesome!

    • @Bonpu. Just curious, why you suggest especially an American......

    • This is still a form of self-help.

    • @Xyz Same h

    • check out her books - the libraries should have them. And likely other speeches. Reminder how much her books impressed me. Very practical and no fluffy motivational stuff.

    • Yes. I feel like corporations and especially conservatives have pushed "rugged individualism" to an extreme in the United States. It is refreshing to see folks waking up to the importance of solidarity. We are all in this together! ❤️

  • This is the best TED talk I’ve ever heard! Truly!! So genuine, fun, and life changing! A teaching moment! Love it! You might have just changed my life and that of many. I’ll try my best to live to your inspiring words! Thank you Barbara ❤️ It’s definitely it enough to tell yourself you can do something. You need a strategy and the right tools.

  • Her aura was so welcoming and friendly, hearing that she passed away at 2020, is just unimaginable.. Although, we're honoured to have a human, that's memorable to our hearts.. Rest in peace Barbara Sher 👑

  • My grandma met with her friends for her whole life through marriage, kids, & retirement! This is awesome!! Networking!! Love it!

  • Without a doubt, this is a really heart warming talk highlighting the goodness of humanity and ways we could rise by lifting others. Loved it.

  • Trying to pinpoint what makes me love Barbara and I think it's her combination of mild crankiness and lack of fear of being judged, combined with a humble and honest reverence for the good in people and the beauty of the world.

  • I am so glad I found this again. I've already watched it once before, but it was so inspiring, I am glad I got to watch it again. ❤️

  • This woman is amazing 🤩.....I really needed to hear this today......I’ve isolated myself so much and feel such shame/embarrassment if I have to ask for help....it’s ok to ask for help....sometimes you may feel like you have nothing to give back to the world.....but how will you know if you don’t get social.....let’s all say hello to someone new today 👋🏻 Thank you for this brilliant message 🤩💗

  • I agree about this being the BEST Ted Talk ever, I really really want to do this! But posting online isn’t the same. I feel like we (people) are going to be permanently isolated. I saw this for the first time in 2020, i am still waiting! Okay “I wish” I could attend a gathering such as this to hopefully meet new friends and spend time in person regularly

  • Omg! I cried so hard for the last story. I knew how tired she was and finally she could have her cruise. That's so amazing! Thank you so much Barbara you are so wonderful and fantastic woman!

  • I agree that strangers are best at helping. Sadly in my experience, family members will kill a dream faster then anything if it inconveniences them. My family is small, (mother, uncle, aunt) yet through extreme isolation, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other things I will not get into, they have destroyed me. Find your community!

    • @aditi singh make them beleive that the standards you have achieved are high enough.

    • @ASMRyouVEGANyet? yeah its true.

    • @ryan binder exactly same situation. they want me to achieve unbelievably high standards . anything less than that will be sabotaged

    • @aditi singh mine did to when I chose a partner they didn't agree with.

    • Just reminding you family is not always bonded through blood, cause we are all family on planet earth. So live your dreams through action.

  • Thank you for cheering me up and inspiring me this morning, Barbara! I’m going to inherit this ask for my networking grab bag. You made a difference in so many, congratulations ❤️🎈💕

  • "Loneliness is a barrier that prevents one from uniting with the inner self." - Carl Rogers

  • absolutely inspirational - I came across this accidentally, and was riveted by Barbara. I also had the We Did It moment at that age.

  • The big question isn’t “how do I reach my dream” as that is simply logistics. The big question that is most difficult to answer is “what is my dream?”

  • Many years ago I bought one of Barbara Sher's books. Back in those days with no internet and with no easy way to link up with a successful author in New York, I picked up the phone and called her (expecting to get a secretary). Well, she answered the phone and spend a nice amount of time with me and then sent of a very nice letter (which I still have). Her books helped to frame how I approached my life. I continue to learn from her and hope to continue learning from her for many years to come. This is a great and insightful 21 minute talk. 'Take a moment - you'll be glad you did.

    • @Brooklyn Brielle She passed in May unfortunately, but she has a number of books you can read. Im going to look into them myself think they would really help me 🙂

    • Brayden, how fortunate of you to have that encounter with Barbara! And thank you for sharing your experience with us! I liken it to having a special/favorite teacher who (re)directed our thought processes and encouraged us to rise to the best of our potential. Barabara sounds like the real deal🌟💜 Very cool 👌🏽😎🙏🏼

    • Wonderful lady

    • Your art is beautiful!! Very talented

    • What a touching lil review - nice.

  • I needed to hear this today. I’m going through the same thing and trying to get out of this cycle. I don’t know what to do anymore but I’m not giving up.

  • Thank you for this wonderful talk with incredible information that gives everyone help. You’re a living doll. I am very grateful and appreciative of all that you have done for many people and continue to do. You’re awesome.

  • great talk! i love how different she is from me yet so relatable

  • One of the most inspiring videos i have ever watched,I love it,In Africa we call our mother's and old mother's,Mama,this Mama is very very funny,she's so down to earth,when she drank the water and burped, I went oops! I really enjoyed the video and i will keep watching it over and over again,learnt a lot.Thank you very much.

  • Loved this talk!! Such true words, and a lesson to many

  • So awesome helping others and having others help you when its needed. Although sometimes one wants to be alone. Its not isolation. Maybe for peace of mins at times. Great video. Peace and love to all.

  • This is sensational, very inspiring . Thank you Barbara. You make me see life in a different perspective where the impossible can be made possible via social interaction. Res in Peace . Your memory will live forever as you have left a legacy behind. Thanks to KL who introduced you to me.

  • I love this presenter!! So great!! I listen to this several times. Relative to her, I'm Ronnie. I'm still sitting. I still exude hostility. (though I'm very good in an emergency)

  • R.I.P Barbara Sher - 14 August 1935 - 10 May 2020. You will be missed ✨

    • I love and respect her within 10 seconds ♥️ Rest In Peace ☮️ Thank you Barbara

    • 😥

    • We are all going to die soon so have the time of your life and change the world as you were created to change it. Everything is conditional.

    • R.I.P

    • A Divine Delegator 🙏🕊

  • I’m so happy to wake up to this beautiful message. Know wander to much isolation makes me sick to my stomach. Thank you sign a problem solver ☺️

  • One of my favorite Ted talks...my second time listening. It would be great to be part of a group like this.

  • Going through a lot right now but this made me cry in such a positive way. Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity:)

    • Everything will be ok, Ashley :)

  • What a beautifully motivating set of stories about human connection and coming together to fulfill individuals' wishes and dreams. I loved it - moved the needle on my hope-ometer. We need more interactions like these in today's world.

  • I loved this ted talk & I loved the way she tells the stories very calm pleasant presence & great tip

  • I love this lady! She made my day ☺️So much hope to go around …..

  • This is beautiful and definitely what this world needs. This planet needs more people like her ❤️

  • This makes me realize we don’t have all the answers, but when we come together, we have all the solutions

  • She inspired so many people. Rest in power to this amazing woman 🙏🏽✨

  • The power!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I just LOVE this TEDx talk! Thank you Barbara!!!

  • This is one of the most important videos I’ve ever seen. Solid advice. Thank you.

  • Watched this talk for the first time last night and she had me laughing so hard with her stories. Rest in peace Barbara. ❤🙏

  • I'm glad I watched this. A different perspective than many TED talks I've seen. If I keep hearing about how I should "choose courage over comfort" or "be brave" or "carpe diem" I'm going to go crazy. I don't want to be told my problems are in my head, and I just need to try harder and be more motivated. That's depressing. I want to be told my problems are real and difficult, and I want people to listen and offer help.

    • Worryingly, many people who watched this video are reaching the exact opposite conclusions and stating that people who can't access help simply didn't deserve it because they failed to ask.

    • Carpe Diem is exactly that. Live for the moment, don't hasitate, if you wan't to do something do it, if you have a problem talk about it. Don't get in your shell, don't suffer silently. Let the light come in and live for the moment. That's the philosophy of many great thinkers. After all, we have to live and experience it all. That's it :)

    • @Lady Haha HaHa yea W Virginia...especially

    • @Hubcool367 You are not wrong.

    • @manfred schmalbach Manfred, sir, you nailed it.

  • One of my favourite TED talks ever!

  • I just watched it for the third time and it always fills me with positivity and hope. This speech is incredible!

  • Thank you for this lesson, it was great fun and very informative. I know wherever you are, you are continuing to help us.

  • I wish there was a way I could find one of her groups, here in New York, even though she has died. After the pandemic, it would be great to be involved in such a group. I live alone, and I'm way too isolated.

    • Donna, I agree, covid has made us too comfortable being cozy in being alone. Our daughter died Oct before Mar that started covid. Being isolated was perfect for ruminating on re-do's for a better outcome. But. I notice I get revved-up, enthusiastic, a tiny bit of dopamine, when I recognise connection! Someone says the littlest thing, in a grocery aisle, or at the bus stop, and I overhear and have something to say--like I heard, "oh bother I think we'll miss the ferry, the bus is too late," so I offered, "I type on my phone "next bus" and then the number on the sign, it tells me how long we have to wait," and we found they won't miss their ferry. Well, it was an interaction. Just too rare. My husband volunteers at Union Gospel Mission, serving coffees breakfast time Sundays for the homeless--he likes providing for people's tiny wants (Can I have another orange? Sure you can). Stealth connection because I think there is a rule don't ask for more. I feel allergic to connection but I'm aware that connecting would save us if we don't go-to-ground too easily. If we search horizons for putting in so we get something to take of it.

  • She basically described the Mastermind Principle. Amazing woman doing amazing work

  • I wish there were more talks from wise old women here on youtube. This one was very inspiring.

  • Listening to her made me so happy ❤ the stories are great!

  • Very powerful lesson.... highly appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

  • What an amazing ted talk... rest in peace barbara, may your legacy live on and on through your TED talk

  • I just love how realistic this talk is, it is amazing to detch away all the fairy tales , and find out actual practical soultions to things . I struggled for a while with my problems and obstcles , bearing the hero mentalty and thinking i need to solve everythings alone , so one day my friends formed a cycle and we started to talk , alot of my problems were solved by one of their contributions and i felt that asking others or admitting problems is the only true way to finds answers to them I greatful fot the experiences that ted talk provide 😍it is priceless

  • We depend on each other's dreams coming true You have to figure out what you want and ask for it Let ppl help you❤

  • This is one of the greatest Ted talks I’ve ever listened to. I’m absolutely blown away by this.

    • Hello Brittney how are you doing

  • Personally, it's been a very solitary existence. Lots of shame, guilt and fear of asking for help. Time to turn that battleship around.

    • @andrew v Ego never serves us…ITS MORE LIKE THE ENEMY

    • You can do this. Don’t live in fear…..tackle yourself issues and start living your life!

    • I can relate so very well. Same here. I have isolated myself for nearly 28 years. It's so much easier to do this day and age and I never did when I was younger. Always an outgoing and extroverted person, yet when I married I became isolated. This had changed me into a person I don't even recognize. Trying to change things. I wish you luck in your endeavor to regain life.

    • Good luck

    • Did you do it?